She Said Yes, I mean No.

I wrote this post a few months back, but it is being published just now "for a variety of reasons."

A few years ago I was in a Taco Bell and they had a pamphlet entitled "The Art of Saying No" in a holder on the wall. As I remember, these pamphlets were actually right next to the employment applications, which is a bit ironic. Or at least I think this is situational irony. I am sure that some English major will tell me my use of irony is wrong and will begin quoting Greek philosophy. Whatever. Maybe the true irony is that Taco Bell is giving advice on life skills and I actually am writing about it.

What did the pamphlet say?
We need to say no more often.

How do we say "No" successfully?
There's a right way to be happy, and it's choosing the right every day. There is also a right way to say "No." And sometimes you can say no without saying "No." The following is a "whine and complain story" that is not about any of you. Please avert you eyes.

I remember a long while ago, before The Beast went north and got cage rage, I met this person who was female. After a sufficient passage of time, I ended up asking her on some sort of "date" (It followed the 3 P's, but not the 10 P's. Well okay, a few aspects of the 10th P were present) and she said she would be happy to go, she just needed to coordinate her work schedule. She said she would "let me know" the next week what day worked. This turned out to be Absolute Rubbish. When someone tells you they will "get back to you and let you know," plan on them not letting you know. For about three weeks I wait for this girl to communicate with me. This was awkward as we saw each other often. But finally she broke the vow of silence and she spoke to me! She flapped her jaw about like this:

"(Blah Blah Blah small talk). Sorry, I got really caught up with dodging you for a short bald guy 'work' and forgot, Blah Yadadadada, Flub Flub Flub. But I promise with a cherry on top that I will talk to my boss and tell you what time for Friday this week. And I will get back to you and let you know." 

So being dumb I believed her. And she "forgets" again. After two weeks I ask her about it. She now says she ended up really strapped for time that week. (Oh really? I thought those Facebook photos of you on a "spontaneous adventure" last Friday with that dude that looks like Greg Wrubell indicated you had made time. That must have been a different person). Only after all of this do I realize that she actually is saying no using the "I'm busy = I would rather cuddle with an unbathed hyena than be seen with you in public" type of saying no. And it took a whole semester for her to say it. Absolute rubbish. Maybe this is dramatic irony since spectators of this debacle knew more than I, the actor in play, did.

Now if this female person had just told me from the get-go that she was "busy," that would have been fine. Then I could at least have moved on. I know that "busy" is a euphemism for "Leave me alone." Instead, I was jammed. Every time that she told me she would "get back to me" about the upcoming week, I had to avoid making plans. She could have chosen a more expedient way to say no.

Now the whole point of that story is not that I think this girl is a dumbo or that I was socially abused. The point is that I actually would have been fine with being told no, it just would have been nice if she could have done it a bit faster. I am too "busy" for that type of game.

So that is a whiner griner story about a girl that lives somewhere out East now.