After a Break.

I, I will be king
And you, you will be queen
Though nothing, will drive them away
We can beat them, just for one day
We can be heroes, just for one day

And you, you can be mean
And I, I'll drink all the time
'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact
Yes we're lovers, and that is that

Though nothing, will keep us together
We could steal time, just for one day
We can be heroes, forever and ever
What'd you say?

I, I wish you could swim
Like the dolphins, like dolphins can swim
Though nothing, nothing will keep us together
We can beat them, forever and ever
Oh we can be heroes, just for one day

~Heroes (David Bowie) 

I have included a song by David Bowie today since he passed away this week. I have been rather amazed that there are people who have never heard of David Bowie. Here is a picture to jump start your memory:

Those of you who do know who David Bowie is (aka Ziggy Stardust, aka the Thin White Duke) are familiar with the fact that his catalogue of music is rather eclectic. As the old adage goes, Dylan went electric and Bowie went eclectic. Perhaps this post today is a bit like this. There are a lot of small bits that seem rather disconnected, but in all, they form a single whole for readers who know all the stories and can pick up on the underlying meanings.

As I was looking through some photos of Mr. Bowie I realized that he has a rather close resemblance to one of my associates. See if you can see the resemblance with someone you know.

Creepy, right? No word on if he has a buddy on the husky side.

For those ardent followers of the blog, you will know that I have not written for a while. The last time I wrote, the white Bronco had not yet headed east. Said horse has now hitched elsewhere. It remains to be seen as to what this will mean. It probably will go one way or another: lift-off will occur, or we will crash and burn. The odds are roughly 4:1 in favor of the latter I feel. But we will see. At least we can say that the odds are better than those for the likelihood of a tall can of cooking spray showing up on campus in a tacky corduroy jacket he bought at Goodwill. Because that wouldn't be safe. (By "safe" did he mean "not a safe win"? #HardFacts).

WARNING: Could explode at any moment

Except with tan pants.

Over the holiday break, I spent a considerable amount of time on the road. This does not mean that I literally was on the asphalt, but rather that I was inside a motor vehicle on the asphalt. I believe I slept in seven locations over the break. It was almost like I was a rock star on tour, except, of course, minus the millions of adoring fans and the private tour bus. But I did eat a large amount of food, which was probably bad.

My aunt has these amazing crescent roll things every year. Not that I ever take an exact count, but I think I ate 13 of them this year. In fact, I ate so much the Wii Fit nearly diagnosed me as being obese. It made me set a goal to lose some poundage by the end of eight weeks. That was two weeks ago. Not much progress has been made so far.

It is hard to know how accurate the WiiFit really is since its whole existence is contingent on people being overweight. It is like asking a car salesman if he thinks you need to buy a new car. As the old adage goes, "The camera adds 15 pounds, and so does the WiiFit."

I tried to work out on the WiiFit over the break, but I do not know if it made a difference. And besides, if you really expect the WiiFit to whip you into shape, you have hit rock bottom. That's what the TaeBo VHS tapes are for.

My goal is to look like this man--except remain white.

If you wondered, TaeBo is a portmanteau of Tae Kwon Do (태권도) and Boxing (복싱).....clearly the man is not aware that it's not called TIE-kwon-do (small pet peeve). I guess as long as people do not correct me when I say my phone was made by 삼성 I will be okay. Hint, it's not "SAM sung," as in the phrase "Sam sung a song" or something. The first syllable rhymes with bomb (but not comb or womb). Glad we got that cleared up. (Don't get me started on the high undies [Hyundai; 현대]).

I must admit that as of late I have become more aware of my ballooning weight. I am no longer the thin white duke I once was. (Okay, I never actually called myself that). It just has been hard to exercise as of late. #GlobalWarmingMissedMyTown. Maybe once the temperature gets to the double digits again I can go outside and exercise.

Sadly, I may at one point need to update my wardrobe since I no longer can fit into some of the pants from my mission. I did order a new suit from China, but it came and it was not really the right color.

Me, in the suit, before the large weight gain.

If I knew of any weddings, bar mitzvahs, or holidays coming up in the next month or two I would wear it, but alas, no such opportunity seems to be presenting itself. (Unless someone has failed to inform me of her impending quinceañera). (Are suits even appropriate for such an event?). This is probably for the best, since in my current puffy condition, I am not even sure I am fit to be seen in public. Or in private. Yes, perhaps it would be for the best if no one tries visiting me for the next few months while I work off all the cups of Christmas punch.

We will hopefully meet again next week. (Over the blog, certainly not in person. Not while the WiiFit continues to send me reminders to lose 15 pounds by February 26 [Six short weeks from tomorrow! I can hardly contain my youthful exuberance!]).